Sunday, September 16, 2012

Sunday Sunday

Well, another brunch eaten but at my work, with another friend. It was nice. We talked about my past issues with the last guy of question in my life. I, again, ended with conclusion that I was not in the wrong again. Talking about it helps. Nothing really was drastically wrong accept my pride being beaten down. I am a bad judge of character I guess. I think I need help picking guys now, lol.

After I had a small walk, watched a
movie at home and was pulled off my couch by some planes flying in formation around Coal Harbour. I missed the Abbotsford Airshow this year and this was like a little snippet of what I missed. 3 Cessnas and 1 Harvard. Grabbed my camera and took some shots.
Now a few beers and some blues.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Saturday Off: WTF?

Well, it's my first Saturday off in what seems like a century. So, of course, I wake up at 7am. Not a surprise considering I've woken up at 6:30am or earlier forever on the weekends. I have a plans today but I still needed to pop in to see if the troops are 'killing it'. Now I'm off to breakie with a chum to see another chum at his new job. Then I'll shop around for some special bowls and a new mandolin for work.

*************

Well I accomplished my goals today with ease, finding the bowls for our new brunch menu at work, a new mandolin at work, and added bonus avocado slicer and a new duvet set (on sale), after going for brunch. It's 4pm now and I'm gonna hit the seawall for some music in the park. There is a huge concert at Brockton Oval (http://www.voicesinthepark.com/) with a bunch of musical bigwigs. I figure listening to it from the seawall might be possible???

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Let's Try This Again: Day One

Well yesterday was a one off. Yep, I fell off the wagon. My friend said "there is no spoon, Neo, or in your case no wagon...". I guess he's right. Anyways I am dry today.

I got a nice surprise visit from my, now long-distant friend yesterday, as he made sure he popped by before leaving again for Alberta. It was so great to see him, forgetting how he always put a smile on my face. He couldn't believe how good I looked and considering my so-called life right now, at least I look good. We had a quick chat and then he had to run. I hope he can come out again soon and we can hang out. He picks me up when I'm down. It's too bad we didn't have time for a bit of mattress dancing.

After seeing a hummingbird hovering around my balcony the other day, I proceeded to buy a feeder and make homemade nectar for the hummingbirds. Hopefully this will bring some new interesting life to my balcony.

Always curious, I sen a short message to the guy I removed from my "dance card" recently to make sure he was on the right track - meaning has he scraped his way out of the doldrums - and he sent me a message back "sober is the right track". I guess he's okay. That's all.

Well that's all I got today. On to tomorrow.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Sabbatical: Day Six

Well, last weekend brunch shift. Kinda happy it is over. My patience is gone and I need a break. Home is good. That's all I got today. No meeting with my pal. That's ok. On to tomorrow.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Sabbatical: Day Five

This headache has been hounding me for two days now. Yesterday after work it started and I thought it was from dehydration. Nope, hydrated to the point of feeling drowned, I then thought it might be from my damn neck/stress problem. I was at the chiropractor and massage therapist for a year and I finally got rid of the numbness in my fingers. This was a year and a half ago and I wouldn't be surprised if that was the issue. The headache continued at night and I took some Advil before bed. When I woke up it was still lingering and as I continued working today it became a small migraine. Not the best feeling, working in a kitchen that is 110F. I drank loads of liquids and still couldn't fight it. At one point I was just struggling to get through my shift, quiet and focused on the shift itself. 

Then it clicked. I remember this happening before and I tried it again. I asked a server to be so kind and make me an ice coffee as I had a migraine and I thought it might be from detox after not having a sip of caffeine in a few days. Well, it slowly brought me back to a level state. By the time I had left work my headache was just a mere tap in my head. It's funny how I haven't had a drink in 5 days and haven't suffered physically, except for the mere loneliness of not hanging with my chums at the watering hole, but without coffee I am debilitated to a mere pile of mush. 

Well, I even turned down a tryst with my FB tonight, as he has returned from his job in Alberta for his son's birthday. We will meet up but I wanted to not be "off" with a possible repeat of today. He was okay with it understanding that I, too, have a life. I really want to see him, even if he and I don't "hook up", because we have fun together no matter what we do. He and I are like two peas in a pod sometimes. I wonder if the time apart will make a difference on our friendship. I wonder if being on the wagon will turn him on or off? LOL. Time will tell. I will be seeing him tomorrow or Monday. 

Now, time for some reading and bed. My last Sunday shift is tomorrow and if it is anything like today, it'll be busy. No need for being tired.... 

Friday, September 7, 2012

Sabbatical: Day Four

Today was a normal day with it's usual ups and downs. I wonder sometimes about the human race and its ability to problem solve, recognize detail, and generally exist in such numbers on this planet. I haven't much to say tonight as I have a headache and should sleep early. Perhaps I will have more to say tomorrow. I will sleep now, licking my wounds (cut my finger today - part of the nail), and rest for tomorrow. Stay calm and carry on.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Sabbatical: Day Three


The leaves on the trees are change colour and the autumn air have arrived, along with less stressful work days. The crowds have disappeared, there is a slight crisp bite in the air and the patio is less popular until mid-day, when the sun is at it's hottest. The huge to-do-lists are not so overwhelming, while there is the aura of the labour ghost haunting us every second the clock ticks. This is the time of the year that is most unpredictable. You never know when the restaurant could get busy, usual in short slams and then it settles to a few customers again.

It was nice to see the new fryers purchased after another equipment failure occurred earlier this week. No point in fixing a defunct frying unit. Two shiny new fryers installed and running by 10:30am ready for the first crisp order of hash browns to be deep fried. As I worked, it felt better to clear my mind over the past few incidents in my days - my work schedule and the "fired" friend removed from my dance card. Talking always clears the muddled tangle of information in my mind. In the end, I feel like I am back on the right path, less emotional and steady on my feet.

After work, I picked up a shwarma sandwich, a juice and some newspapers with crosswords and headed to the beach for a little sunshine and music (iPod), dinner and puzzles. After an hour I wandered to the grocery store for some food to put in my fridge. I enjoy my time on the seawall regardless if almost every time I go, my peace is interrupted by a strange man commenting on something about me - either trying to pick me up or just being weird. Last night it was balanced. A guy in a canoe paddled up and asked me if I would be there for a bit. He wanted to get some food on Denman Street, and he was nice and asked if I was hungry. I said no but he returned 40 minutes later with a can of Coke for me anyways. Nice. The opposite happened while he was gone. Some older man (60+) came up to me to comment how I should watch the sunset and not read the paper. He also commented on how he got to meet a beautiful woman while the sun set. If he wasn't so creepy and didn't startle me while I was listening to music with my earphones, I may have not been put off, although any of these approaches will put me off after the last guy in my life.

Now, I am writing about my day and look forward to my couple of hours of reading before bed, as I did yesterday. Currently I'm finishing American On Purpose by Craig Ferguson. It is fantastic. I have filled my TV watching with TMZ (why are they so funny on that show?) and an episode of Coronation Street (the only soap I watch). Waiting for Big Brother while my dinner cooks in the oven, I am watching the MTV VMAs trying to enjoy the screaming of the youth while pop stars lip sync their songs. In some ways I am glad I'm not young in these times. It was way simpler way back in my younger years.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Sabbatical: Day Two

I woke today, with sun on my face and my cat purring near my ear. The end of Day One was anti-dramatic but included a finalization of one obstacle in my life. I called it quits with the guy I met recently, towing his baggage behind him. I realized this guy had taken me off course and was distracting me. He made his bed of nails, each point jabbing in his back like a multitude of his self-made problems poking his replicated voodoo doll. Now he needs to remove each porcupine needle out one by one, on his own. There is no way to form a relationship, albeit, friends, starting with a lie. I have no time for this in my life and believe that I tell the truth and have based my character on telling it like it is. He will not be part of my inner circle because of his lying. Had I known he was lying all this time, I would have never continued on that wrong dead end path. He has turned to the Lord now for help, and I hope those ladies at bible study are prepared for this selfish being to infiltrate their lives. "Praise Jesus" - his last texts were to me. Sigh.

After that I slept like a baby, and woke to see a couple of texts, thinking it was him. Luckily it wasn't but from a friend who quit from his job suddenly to move on to better horizons. He wanted to let me know and told me where he was working. I was sad to here he had left the ole watering hole, but in actual fact, he was one of the last surviving staff after the inane renovations and management decisions literally left the pub a vacuous room. Its no wonder there aren't tumbleweeds blowing around in there. He was smart to jump ship before it went down completely. We sent each other texts for a bit and then he was off to work.

I knew today was a clean house kinda day. Clean house, clear mind. So I proceeded with laundry, cleaning my whole apartment and then tackle some unfinished paperwork. All that done by 2pm I have been dawdling around, chatting with some pals. The sun is still shining now so I'm gonna hit the rest of the rays now. 

Day 2 so far so good.


The Sabbatical: Day One

To change one's life, a drastic event must occur, similar to a slap in the face. Let's say my pride has been slapped. In return, feeling sorry for myself, I looked back at when I felt more in control of my life. I quit drinking in February this year and lasted 2 months. I wasn't craving drinking the whole time. I did feel lonely, but that is because I meet all my friends at the bar, centered around alcohol. Regardless of the loneliness, I found that losing that expensive routine filled my wallet, filled my fridge and filled my focus.

Now, with a few recent set backs, I feel it's time to grab the bull by the horns. The first incident was meeting someone new whom eventually made me feel pretty crappy. His pain and guilt from his own issues were aimed at me. I simply lent and ear and gave him some minor advice, listening to his plight, like nursing a stray back to health. Unfortunately, the stray lashed out biting the hand that fed it. I have a natural attraction to men with issues, hoping that I can help in any way. This stray caught me by surprise, incapable of reading him, I decided today he needs to deal with his issues alone. I cannot help in any way, creating more pain on my end if I get involved.

The other wake up call was my workmates grouping together to oust me from my regular work schedule. Although the owners made it look as though they were making my life easier, I perceive it as a last call. Getting weekends off is great but not when I feel I should be needed durin the busiest times. Sure, I need time to be more creative at work and spending 50 hours a week cooking leaves me no time to create. I just feel I have been kicked out.

This is day one of this new life choice and I am uneasy. My feelings are all over the place. Tomorrow will be better.

Jen McIntyre | Create your badge

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