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Showing posts from 2010

Neck Pain or Pain in the Neck

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The glass grains of the 2010 hourglass have almost completely drained and I look back at the year as everyone does. Watching the television, news shows have been broadcasting many different top events of the year. Weather, sports, news, etc. The most prominent event in my life over the past year has been the damn sore neck and upper back that o have had, it seems, forever.

Yesterday I woke up with pain again. I immediately sighed and rolled my eyes, wondering when this will end. I have been going to the chiropractor and massage therapy religiously and after my last visit I thought I was ready to lengthen my visits to monthly. Regardless, these problems occur once and awhile and generally heal themselves with time.

My only understanding of the situation, using my previous knowledge of sports medicine, is that my neck muscles are not strong enough and when the pain finally subsides, I need to do light exercises to build strength.

Now, I question, if I have had this head for my whole life,…

Merry Christmas To You...

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It is Christmas Eve...

I have spent the day keeping busy with my usual routines to avoid any lonely feelings. I woke with a bit of a headache from the libations last night. This ritual of seeing friends the day before Christmas has shifted a day to avoid any pain on the actual holiday. It seems everyone has decided on this, not just me. Last night was quite festive, karaoke Christmas carols, friends gathered around the wood laughing, smiling, hugging and generally passing out the Christmas cheer. I was pretty happy too, feeling the energy of great friends around me. There are always eyes looking regardless of what is happening in your life, and the effect they have on you after a stumble in your life is priceless.

Some of my friends off to other parts of the country, and others yet travelling to warm beaches of the tropics,  the party continued on very late. I have dropped a few walls in the last week and opened up a bit, resulting in possibly putting my foot in my mouth. It always wo…

It's Time....

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Today was a completely relaxing day. The only day off in my work week, I had one appointment today - lunch with my Dad. We went to The Boathouse in Kitsilano, enjoying our conversation of family and Christmas plans, enjoying the view and the food. The topic of my current relationship development came up and I simply told him everything. He was happy I made the right decision in letting it all go; "then it wasn't meant to be." I did notice the glances at my finger. I figured he would mention the fimo beaded necklace from Spain, which was my mother's.  He did not but his distraction to the ring I was wearing on my right ring finger was enough for me to rethink wearing this nostalgic piece of jewelery.







The piece of jewelery is a ring I have had since my previous relationship with an ex-boyfriend of six years. The ring was a representation of our future plans to be married and move to Vancouver Island. My mother, still alive although in her second bout with breast cancer,…

And the Clouds Broke Open and....

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Rain is inevitable in the Fall in Vancouver. If Google took a picture from above the city, it would appear that the streets were canopied with multicolored octagon patches, umbrellas everywhere, creating a colorful quilt. The streets have small rivers down them with tributaries running down sidewalks. Unusually warm today, double digits, even the local mountains, formerly blanketed with meters of snow, have closed after opening prematurely with a November snowfall.


The soggy weather combined with the shortest daylight hours of the year, have put a heavy feeling over the city. The streets have no life to them, pedestrians hiding under their umbrellas, looking down the sidewalk. There is an obvious state of mourning in Vancouver, predicted by the news and media one year ago. This year had a full dance card all year long, and now that the twinkle of her tiara is dulled, she is being taken for granted again. It's like Vancouver was all dressed up and now her gown is faded and her masc…

Have I Compromised Myself Into A Corner?

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"To compromise is to make a deal where one person gives up part of his or her demand. In arguments, compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms—often involving variations from an original goal or desire. Extremism is often considered as antonym to compromise, which, depending on context, may be associated with concepts of balance, tolerance. In the negative connotation, compromise may be referred to as capitulation, referring to a "surrender" of objectives, principles, or material, in the process of negotiating an agreement. In human relationships "compromise" is frequently said to be an agreement that no party is happy with, this is because the parties involved often feel that they either gave away too much or that they received too little"  - Wikipedia.
Everyone compromises. Life is all about compromises; in work, in relationships, in friendships, in commuting, in cooking. I can continue on for…

"Did I Take Wrong Turn Back There?"

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Life can feel like a prairie road. Those roads lined with rows and rows of wheat, with no cross-roads, direction signs, street lights, or other cars. "Fields of Gold" as Sting wrote. The blazing sun beating down, blinding your eyes through your sunglasses. A breeze nowhere to be found, the crows sitting on the fences with their mouths agape, attempting to cool off as their bluish black feathers take on every degree of unbearable heat. The monotony can be dulling at times, like the sound of a metronome, the ticking of a clock, the dripping water from a leaky faucet.
The thought of summer heat and golden sunshine, sounds warm and attractive, while Autumn is in full force, maple leaves lining the streets. The damp cool air is shocking, sneaking its way to my bones. The early nights arrive and the city becomes quiet, every apartment glowing with light as West Enders create their den for the winter months. The aroma of home cooking is on every floor; burning wood drifting in the a…

Addictions Never Go Away

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Everyone has an addiction. There is not one person in this world without some kind of repetitive action that gives them some kind of lift. There are limitless addictions from obvious bad habits, like smoking, to dangerous addictions, like heroine. There are harmless addictions, like washing your hands, and there are strange addictions, like hoarding. Lives can be limited by addiction, unable to break free of the jail they have created. 


I have addictions and have quit a nasty unhealthy smoking addiction almost four years ago. In those addicted personalities will always be a little pinch in your brain reminding you of your past dependency. Since quiting smoking I discovered a new habit which turned into an addiction: shopping. Buying clothing, shoes and purses seems to have replaced my need to allow nicotine to float through my blood vessels. Quitting smoking finally made me me feel healthier, resulting in me actually losing weight and looking better. I decided to purchase some better c…

In The Clouds

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October is in full force as the last rays of sunshine warmed Vancouver yesterday in a final attempt of escape before the cool damp air socks us in. The traffic in the West End has settled and the pedestrians are all carrying out their grocery shopping routines. There are few tourists populating the sidewalks, leaving room to see the local shops slow down, and frozen yogurt stores close for the cold months. The sound of a jack hammer fills the air as a business renovates into new condominiums. Watching Denman Street now, one would never imagine the hustle and bustle during the key summer months.

I worked an enormous amount of hours over the summer, and previously, during the months of the Olympics in the winter. The city, is in a type of mourning, with everyone back to work or school, the leaves dying on the trees, falling gingerly to the pavement. There seems to be more life on my balcony, with the finches, sparrows and chickadees fattening up for the winter. The nightlife is desolate,…

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I hear the ticking of my inherited cockoo clock counting down the time, the seconds of the evening, as I lay in bed waiting to fall into a deep sleep. Inubriated passersby sing, while stumbling home after a night of drinks, possibly at my workplace. A faint belly laugh from a woman tickles the air while cars lumber by looking for a lucky chance of a close parking spot. The click clack of a pair of high heels rises through my bedroom window and a soft murmur of a conversation drifts in and out of my hearing. These are the familiar sounds of my neighbourhood. City life, full of people, sirens, barking dogs, and loud parties surround me, rocking me to sleep.
Time is on my mind as I try to sleep. Time in relation to age. I have had the pull of the maternal clock and it has almost past as I start a new beginning in my physical life; the twilight of my young days of verility is at hand, soon to be in the rear view mirror as I wipe the steam from my reading glasses. I realize that my 42 year…

The Mothering Soul

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I am not a Mother, technically. I have not given birth or raised an adopted child. I have not chosen to not have kids, I have just not felt I am capable to financially support a child. Considering I am still learning how to financially support my own lifestyle, I always wonder how other people do it with a significantly smaller income. Regardless of the chances I have had to accidentally become a parent but luckily did not succeed, I have been told that I have a mothering soul.

I have been working in the hospitality industry for over twenty years, and have trained hundreds of new employees. Training and raising are not the same but when all of my trainees look up to me like a mother, I begin to wonder if I am getting my fill of motherhood everyday at work. My 'kids' come to me with ailments, financial advice, relationship issues, personal problems and numerous other issues only a parent would experience. The days at work are little tidbits of parenthood that I learn with every …