Friday, December 14, 2007

Singlehood and Online Dating

Well, if you have been reading this blog (as I assume no one does, hence the lack of comments), I have been pretty busy. I apologize immediately for not updating my life for all to see but, as a single woman in her soon depleting 30s, I have some oats to sow. Well, maybe not literally, in a bachelorette kind of way. I am not "popular" as my co-worker states (popular=slut). If you are familiar with my current situation, I have jumped out of my comfort zone and opened myself up to a whole new world of meeting new people. Yes, I have been known to chat on-line, but to people not looking for a date. Just pals with things in common.

In the past months I have been introduced to on-line dating. Although I have only met 4 or 5 people in person, I am talking to numerous people on-line in sites such as Plenty of Fish, Lavalife and the personal ads on Craigslist. If I had only saved the 50 or so emails from all of these sites I could write a book. I can still write a book about all of the men I have met, from sweet and charming to completely sex-driven and single-minded. Unfortunately, I am at odds with this line of men that are knocking down my email address, IM on the sites and msn messenger.

There is the a confusion and plenty innuendo gained and lost when not meeting in person for the first time. I have met guys in person and they can be sweet and wonderful, but then that is it. Whether they aren't attracted (and I know they are unless they are Oscar nominated actors) or whether it is because I don't throw myself at them at once, dropping my clothes on the floor and bedding them in 20 minutes, I am getting a bit frustrated. Yes, I am in total understanding of the on-line immediate hook-up mentality of cyber-dating, but what happened to a good date? What happened to old fashioned courting? Am I becoming old like my parents before me?

I am completely turned off but slightly amused by the men who are so into sex ASAP that when they IM me on Lavalife in the intimate category. I simply write "pic?" and when they send it, I look at it and write "too young" or "no" if I am not interested. In turn, I have gotten some pathetic responses stating I am rude. Well, when you send me a picture of yourself tied to a bed naked, ummmm who's the rude one? I didn't ask for your fetish immediately. Can we chat for a second so I can find out what your thang is before I have to actually see you in action? My God, someone sent me a video of them jerking off, crotch shot only, thank you! It was like watching a car accident!

I have to admit it is becoming a bit fun for me. My problem lies in my own personal security, desires and what I am actually looking for. Am I gonna find it in these sites? I'm not sure but Hell, it is better than the view from my local watering hole. That cesspool of alcoholic losers is wearing thin. I have pals down there but will not date another from the same pond. I have met a fish that has been swimming back and forth from the two connecting ponds, and I may be mistaken but I think he was swimming around me the other night. He is one fish that may not be tainted.

So, I digress. I must admit, I have to choose whether I want to get some of those oats sown before I go and find my mate or just skip it and be with someone whom I get along with really well. I have met a guy who cranks everything in me to the point where I want to drop everything and do anything he says. I have also met a guy who makes me laugh, and we get along chatting everyday, like two peas in a pod. I have met a few others too, but these two are great. If I could put them together into one guy I would be in Heaven.

What do I want? Bad guy, good guy? I don't know....Well continue to read and maybe we both will find out...

On that note, adios for now. Hopefully I'll be back sooner than later.

Jen